Life is unfair... Get over it

I have yet to finished the book... I do hate myself for that. Sometimes when I am a little busy with my work and my mind is occupied with some other "things", I tend to struggle with my priority list.

Anyway, every Saturday morning, besides watching my favorite cartoons in the Disney channel, I am now looking forward to watching CNN. Don't play play can...

Every Saturday morning, if we in Asia are lucky enough, CNN international might broadcast Anderson Cooper 360. Well, since reading his book, I am a total fan of him. I think his job is cool. Able to go to remote places and see first hand how people live, how people earn a living and how people survive.

This morning, there was a special edition of Anderson Cooper 360, Killing Fields: Africa's Misery, The World's Shame. The show got me glued to the tv. I must be honest that not every word or scene stuck in my head but the reports were enough to make me think.

Today's episode focuses on Congo, one of Africa's richest countries with natural resources. Despite the enormous wealth of natural resources, the country is slammed into poverty no thanks to the endless wars and corruptions.

The one particular report that struck me was when hearing most of the Congo people were earning around USD0.20 per day. Bicycle is a luxury left alone a motorcycle or a kancel. The people would build their own transport, a bicycle but motorcycle look alike. The entire bicycle is made of wood, including the wheel. The kind of stuff you would only see in the Flintstones cartoon. Riding that bicycle but motorcycle look alike must be a challenge on a dirt and stony road.

There is this other scene, whereby a soldier was laying in a small bed in a small clinic. His hand was ripped apart by gun shots. Unfortunately the clinic was so poorly equipped that no pain killer was available. The soldier kept yelling "I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die". I think we might sue the doctor if he failed to provide us with any pain killer in situation like that… don’t we?

Frankly, I am not sure why I like to watch reports like that. I don't think it will change my life. As much as I hope to go over there and see myself the situation and maybe land a helping hand, I know it is just a wishful thinking. To give up my life here is just not possible and unthinkable. Don't ask me why, I don't know.

Maybe I should appreciate life better. The pay is low and the work is stressful, but I do have a job and I do earn enough to pay my rent. I do able to slot in some entertainment once in a while. I also owned a transportation that is comfortable and reliable enough to bring me anywhere I want...

Life is indeed biased. Life is indeed unfair. Get over it?

Anyway, after the show, I have a strong urge to get myself a camcorder. I want to record my life and the people around me. Maybe I won't be able to sell it to CNN or National Geography but it is something worth exploring...

Let me save up some money first…

We celebrate...

Yesterday was a rather special day. It was our office uncle's daughter full month day.

The office staff was invited to a dinner at Sg Buloh. A restaurant seems to be owned by our office uncle. Regardless what occasion, year end dinner, Chinese new year, or any "official" dinner, our office uncle would recommend that restaurant. (well, I still wonder despite being there so many times, some of the colleagues still got lost...)

Anyway, the baby was really cute. She looks like the mother, to our much relief... lol...

I drank a little too much though. I was pretty "wing" when leaving that place. I am sure I was loud and very vocal. I was so loud that office uncle said it was as if I was the one having the celebration… hehehe… but I enjoyed myself la...


May the baby grows up happily and healthy...

I saw Fred...

One of the many fun in bowling is to see how people bowl. The style of bowling is very unique and personal.

I am pretty self conscious when it comes to bowling style. It is just a thin fine line between awesome and weird bowling styles. When nothing is going on that day (meaning I play real sux) I would just try to improve on my bowling style. Try to imagine I am one of those national bowlers and mimic their style.

Yesterday, as me and my fitness girl went bowling, we had an interesting sight. I am not exaggerating. I am not kidding. The guy playing next to us... really played like a real life Fred Flintstones playing bowling... the only thing missing was the yelling of "yaba daba doo" part before each throw. He played really well too. Many strikes and many converted spares.

I really felt disappointed that I do not have a camcorder with me. It should be a great hit in youtube I reckon... lol...

I miss the game...

It is a game of speed and power. It is a game of concentration. It is a game of self-discipline. It is the game that I like, bowling.

I have not been playing bowling as regularly as I like. Besides being busy at work, I simply can't find kaki to go with me. Isn't that strange? I must say every time I go to bowling alley, I can see that place is packed with people. People mountain people sea can… but, out of that many people, how come I do not know any of them? Life is strange... isn't it?

Today, however, out of blue, my fitness girl colleague asked me to go bowl. Playing bowling can... how to reject... Anyway, we both played 4 games each. Boy, I was sux. My ball didn't curve as much as I like. My ball didn't hit the pocket as accurate as I like. My ball didn't hit the strikes as perfectly as I like. Instead, I got splits pins. I got air ball. I got endless brooklyn throws.

Sigh... playing like that how to meet my 300 target ler?

The Power of music

Music is a powerful thing. Besides being the universal language, it can be a very good stress reliever. When you and down and you are feeling all tense up, music help you to relax. Well, it actually depends on what kind of music you are listening to and that's pretty subjective.

Me and music go a long way. I first started playing the organ when I was 7 years old. Although my taste in music has since changed, music has been a great part of my life. Heck, I even did my final presentation for public speaking class on music during my college time. And I got an A for the class.

A song is as powerful as a photograph. Whenever I listen to a particular song, all the memories would come back to me. It is as though you are being sucked back in time.

Last Saturday, my pig fren dog fren and I went to K. That night, I did not select any of the Mayday songs (although I managed to sing one of their songs), which is out of ordinary for me. Instead, I picked some oldies. Songs that I have not listened to for some time.

Throughout the k session, I seemed to be flying back in time... back to my secondary school time, back to my university time, back to my early working time. When I was singing Y.M.C.A, I actually had a flash back of the time when I was maybe 5 or 6, making the YMCA moves in the small living room with my bro.

Time does fly...

Mr. Borat

I woke up at before 6am today. After few failed attempts to get back to my dream world, I started to switch on ASTRO to watch.

In the early like this, I like to watch news. Just to have a glance of what happenings around the earth. Nothing really new though. Later I found myself laughing away watching CNN news. Strange? but is true.

The news channel was showing a clip of the movie trailer by Borat. Borat? Never heard of? It is really hilarious. It is a movie about this guy, named Borat from Kazakhstan, who went to US. The culture shock that he experienced is so hilarious...

I really hope I could get hold of a copy of the movie. It will be so funny la...

Don't believe me? try this... http://www.borat.tv/trailer.html

my 100th Post

Congratulations!!! I have reached a new milestone today. This is my 100th post. Hopefuly there will be 100 more to come.

Clueless...

I can still remember how my uni-mates converted their bedroom to one big game room so that they could play games all day long. My colleagues also talk about games at work, during lunch break, during dinner time. It seems like you could hardly survive in the world out there if you are not computer games savvy.

Well, I guess I am among the minority when it comes to computer games. I used to play Sim City. That's about the only game that I truly like. I always like to build my own city. A city with my own vision. A city with balance, the ying and the young. A city with high rise building together with great national parks.

Besides Sim City, I am completely clueless with any other games. Few weeks back, my colleagues asked me to try a new game called spacecowboy. The game sounds simple enough. It is a game of shooting airplanes. Well, after installing the game, I tried a few clicks and decided not to pursue it anymore. So boring can.

Today, knowing how bad I am with my gaming skill, my dog fren insists on coming to my place not only to install the game but also to teach me how to play. How to reject lar you tell me.

So in order not to make a fool of myself again, please excuse me as I need to start my warcraft III tutorial game.

The Amazing Race of my own

I have a sever hang over yesterday. Whole morning, I was in Zombie mood. Right about lunch hour, I got a call from my brother. And he, has a mission for me...

Listen carefully he said, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to get the following items to me before 3pm today at a hotel in Subang Jaya:
1. 3 watermelons
2. 3 bunches of bananas
3. 8 pieces of moon cakes
4. 6 packages of rolled cakes
5. 8 bottles of cokes
6. 1 old putter

I think I completed my mission pretty well despite the hang over. I was at the hotel around 2.30pm.

Bravo to me!!! Maybe I should consider joining the Amazing Race...

Rabbit got drunk...

My internet connect at home was completely destroyed over the weekend. I was not able to update my blog. Luckily I am a Astro person and not a Internet person...

Anyway, Friday started off usual. First I went to my client site to visit my makcik makcik and pakcik pakcik. After that it was back to office and continued with the work. In the evening, my x-project team was having a departmental meeting cum birthday bash.

The departmental talk was rather interesting. My superior is always able to put things in perspective. She was able to twist the words in such a way that everything seems alright. To be frank, I felt much better after the talk.

That night, me and my pig frens dog frens went for dinner at One-U. That place was alright. It was rather cramp for me but the environment was nice. The music was nice as well. However, the dinner somehow turned up to be rather nasty after few jags of beer. We started to play dice. As simple as the game sounds, I was not very good at it I supposed. I got so drunk that night that I couldn't drive at all.

The way I got drunk was so not cool. I think when girls see me drunk like that sure run far far away lor... how sad...

The zombie in me

"I wanted to see the starvation. I needed to remind myself of its reality. I worry that if I get too comfortable, too complacent, I'll lose all feeling, all sensation." ~ Cooper.

Human is a funny being, when we are too comfortable with the moment, we tend to forget a lot of things. We are self-engrossed. As long as I am ok, my family is ok, my friends are ok, then my life is a-o-k.

Maybe that's not the way it supposed to be. When we are comfortable with our way of life, I do feel bore with the life. Everything is just so normal, so predictable, so dry. Maybe that's when you start losing all the feels and all the sensations.

Losing all sensation will be like a living zombie. Lately I am feeling like a zombie myself. Well, not entirely true. I think I am suppressing my emotions more than usual lately. Many people have left or are leaving the company and many more have gone for interviews (gossip gossip) do not particularly make you feel good about the place you are working... yet I find myself able to carry out my work as usual... maybe that's not true also... unusual, definitely unusual... yet I find myself able to carry out my work in an unusual way. Besides that dealing with unusual events cum people also can take a lot out of you. But again I am able to ignore all these people in an unusual way. Is this the new me? I am not sure...

Is this the calmness you experience before the big wave? Is this the clear sky you get before the hurricane? I don't know. I hope not. I want to be able to feel the sensations again like a 5 years old boy who can't sleep at night, too excited, knowing that his parents are bringing him to the park the very next day...

Experiencing life

"There are no slow-motion falls, no crying out the names of your loved ones. People die, and the world keeps spinning."

It's taking awhile for me to read the book. I am not reading as fast as I like. Somehow you need time to digest what is being said.

Maybe I like to be in the author's shoes. Maybe I should be witnessing the war with my own eyes. Maybe I should be there to capture the moments, to experience the war myself.

Hm... I think life is cruel. Everyone knows that the world keeps spinning regardless what... The world would not go slower or faster because of you. I know this fact well. But I guess without experiencing the reality of war, the statement remains just a statement.

I seriously think that I need to experience life more. You see the funny thing about me is that I know what I want, but I think too much. When you weight the pros and the cons, 9 out of 10 times you would take a step backward. Once you do that, you tend to just get over it by hypnotizing yourself over and over again with all the cons in the head. I think many people have the same tendency as me.

The truth is if i were to die tomorrow, I know I have regrets. And I don't like that. Then, how could I experience the life that I always wanted to?

Let me think it over tonight can…

My Super X-girlfren

She has no wing but she can fly high. She has no big ears but she can hear whispers from 10 blocks down the road. She has no muscle arms but she can easily pick up a giant shark. She is pretty she is cool. Thanks God she is not my x-girl friend.

I went to watch a movie today regarding a girl with extraordinary power. Overall the movie was ok. Not particularly hilarious. Not particularly touching. But it was rather entertaining. It is one of those movies where you would chuckle a little when you remember some bits of the scenes.

I am thinking, why does Hollywood always portray superheroes this way? Look at these comparisons: Clark Kent and Superman, Peter Parker and Spiderman and Nelson and Mr. Incredible. It seems like all superheroes must either have no fashion sense like superman (you know, wearing red underwear outside and all), a nerd like Spiderman or a loser like Mr. Incredible to disguise themselves from being recognized. There must be a better “secret identity” for our superheroes, don’t you think? Maybe not for batman though, Bruce Wayne is pretty cool... hm... but wait, batman doesn't have any superpower... hm... my first conclusion is still valid.

Maybe Hollywood should consider making a cool person a superhero. This person can have great fashion sense, straight As student, successful entrepreneur and save the world all in the same time.

Yeap, I like that idea...

He is now 15 kg and 92 cm

I am not a very good father. Well, I am not really a father yet. Theoretically I should be. But I am not. About one and half years ago, me and my colleague who nowadays fly all over the world decided to do some charity and thus adopted a child each. It is a pretty noble thing to do I thought.

We went to the charity office to acquire more information on the “adopt a child” program and decided to go ahead with it straight away. I picked a child from Xin Jiang, China. The reason was simple, I would like to go there one day. We were given some pictures of the children that were available for adoption. It didn't took me long to choose my current child. I really wish to share his picture here but that would against my blogging principle.

I am not a good father because I have never written a letter and send him any gifts after one and a half year adopting him. I bought some stickers for him but never got the chance to send to him. The envelop containing the stickers is still with me until today.

I checked my mailbox today and got a letter from the charity. It is an annual progress report from the Charity on the development of the area where my adopted child is living. I am really happy to see that the progress is going well.

What makes me really ecstatic was when they sent me a recent photo of my adopted son. He definitely looks different from the only photo I have of him. Definitely taller, in fact he is 92cm and 15kg. Besides that he is also in good health. I am really happy. I promise my self to send the envelop with stickers to him by this month.

Happy living...

The Triangle - The Conclusion

The series Triangle came to a conclusion yesterday. I am not sure if I like the ending. Just wonder why it always comes down to the American Government when dealing with the great mysteries surrounding the unexplained? First you have the cover-up of the UFO crash down at Roswell, 1947 and now you have the Bermuda Triangle. I am not sure if I like that idea at all. Maybe the series try to explain the mystery in a more scientific way or maybe by involving the American Government, in this case the US navy, people could comprehend the subject better. Maybe involving aliens from outer space no longer convincing to the public.

However, I do like the idea of Parallel Universe and multiple realities which the series try to explain the whole mystery surrounding the triangle. It is really cool to know that somewhere in another dimension and universe, across the boundary of space an time there is an another me who is doing much better than I am here.

High Tech place

I have to go to my company's sister office located at a so call the most high-tech place in the nation. It was a long day workshop.

This so call the most high-tech place in the nation is pretty "dead" if you ask me. Not much there to see except for the multinational companies buildings. The entire place is pretty dreadful.

Sick of the food being served at our workshop, three of us decided to go out and explore this so call college of creative technology, which is about 5-minute drive from our office.

This was my first trip to this college. The first impression I get when we first reached there was the amount of taxi parking outside the gate. Here we were in the office always thinking how difficult to get hold of a public transport in this area. Now we know where all the taxis are hiding.

There are three separate buildings that I could observe. One admin building, one classroom building and one dormitory building. (I might be dead wrong on these classification though) Anyway, we went to the cafeteria to have our lunch. There were like few hundreds of students there. Mostly black. Yeap, standing behind the line waiting for food bring back memories of my uni days. And in fact you do feel like you are in a foreign country with all the multi-national people around.

As usual, I ordered fish and chips. Pretty good for RM7. As we were chatting, I noticed there are plenty of pretty chicks. Some of them really look like models. Nice. Very nice indeed.

I was inspired by what I saw. So inspired that I decided to take up any part time courses they might offer. After the lunch, we went to the admin building to check out the courses they offer.

Damn... they only have full time classes. Not a very smart strategy if you ask me!

That's the way it is...

Working in IT software house is different from my previous experience. In IT environment, it is rather mobile and dynamic. Unlike working in a manufacturing environment me explain a little further. In a manufacturing environment, your scope of work is pretty defined. The people that you work with are pretty much defined unless you have a turnover. The product that you work on is pretty much defined too. There might be variation on the product but you won't be expected to work with apple one day and durian the other.

I was attached to a project for the past two years. It was in an industry where it involves pretty girls, tight security, high flying and always considered as the gateway to a nation.

Today, I am involved in the industry where it focuses on export and import, enterprises development, grants and always considered as the pillar to continuous economy growth in a nation.

Yeap, my current project is pretty different from what I am used to. Although I am dealing with mostly makcik but it is surely dynamic. It is so dynamic that I find myself meeting different different makcik, talking different different issues, writing different different contents. I know this is just the tip of an iceberg. I should expect more different different things in the future.

It's time to adapt. Luckily I am used to change. I have gone through so many changes in life that this is just another hurdle I have to overcome. Only time will tell if I can succeed.

The Day Uncle Sam Got Wounded

I was doing my assignment during that time and as usual my Astro was on. Once in a while I would do channel surfing. I was rather engrossed with my assignment then but I remember Astro was stopped at channel 90.

Once in awhile I would just lift up my head and watch the report. Then I remembered seeing thick smoke coming out from the famous twin towers, the World Trade Center. At first I thought I was watching HBO or Cinemax. It took me awhile to sink in what I have just seen. Then I stopped everything and started to glue onto the TV. Not long after that, my phone started to ring. Confirmation of what I have just witnessed... It was shocking. It was horrifying. It was horrendous. I was speechless.

The date was 11th September, 2001. Today, after five years have passed, I still wonder. How could such a thing happen? Talking about civilization! I guess something is really wrong with the way the world is heading today. It is bad enough that we have to endure natural disasters such as tsunami, earthquakes and hurricanes. It is bad enough knowing that we might be wiped out abruptly by asteroids or solar storms. It is bad enough that we have to fight against diseases such as bird flu and AIDS. Despite all these, despite knowing how vulnerable we are, we still try to kill each other by plotting attacks and waging wars.

Why are we doing this? Is this God's way? Is this one of the many ways to keep universe equilibrium? I hope not. There must be a better way to control our human population than allowing such barbaric incident to happen.

Sunday Sport Update

Both of them have done it again. Both involve in high speed but in rather different kind of way. Both require high fitness but in rather different kind of way. Both require power but definitely in different kind of way.

One is named Federer and the other Schumacher. One is in the sport of tennis and the other is in the sport of Formula One.

On Sunday, Federer has successfully retaining his US open championship. This is his third win in a row. I am a fan of Federer. Watching him play in the court is spell bounding. Unfortunately, watching him play doesn’t translate into playing the game myself.

On Sunday, Schumacher has successfully winning the Monza GP. That win gave him the 90th career Grand Prix win. He then announced his retirement from the sport during the post race press conference. I am not a fan of Schumacher. Don’t ask me why. But I do respect him as a driver. Winning GP after GP is not easy feat I must say. They even say that he has a heartbeat of a normal person in a resting state while racing. Is human or what?

Perseverance prevail

If you are patient enough, you will be rewarded. If you don't give up easily, you will be rewarded. If you are persistent enough, you will be rewarded. In many ways, God tries to test us. If you can pass His test, sure enough you WILL be rewarded. Unfortunately the reward can come either very soon or very slowly. It is all about persistent and endurance. Then again, it is really unfortunate that we are not living in a parallel universes (at least not that we are aware of). Sometimes after we have given up and decided to change the course of life, new hope arises. Who to say that persistent always triumph at the end?

Well, something told me not to doubt God's way today. About one month ago, I saw this famous CNN anchor being interviewed by Oprah. He was promoting his new book. Something struck me. I think I do take reporters for granted in some ways. When we watch the World news in CNN, we watch it as the audience. We try to absorb the news. We may be stunt when we saw how the airplane crashed into the South tower of the World Trade Center. We may also grief when we witness thousands of life being washed away by the tsunami in Phuket.

If we felt the grief, the frustration, the amazement, the pains when we watch the news on TV, imagine how these events affect the people that actually reporting them?

After the show, I decided to get a copy of the book. Look at these events from a reporter's perspective. It should be interesting I believe. I went to MPH, the Curve to search for it. The sale girl told me that there's only one copy left in the MPH chains, but it is at Midvalley branch. The weekend, I purposely went to the MPH Midvalley to get the book. Sorry to say but the one and only copy was no longer available too.

I was not happy. The worse part was the sale person told me they won't know how long before the new stocks would come. I would have to wait a little longer.

After one month and another 2 trips to MPH Midvalley, I was ready to give up. Waking up early just to go there to ask for the book is not really pleasant if the only answer you get starts with “sorry sir...”.

Today, I have to go to KLCC for a meeting. However, after the meeting was postponed and have a little time on hand, I decided to go to Kinokuniya for a quick check for the book. Guess what? Just as I walked into the bookstore, I can see the book immediately. Yeap, it is the book that I have been searching high and low. This is way too easy and I am happy.

The feeling of getting the book after such a long search is really fantastic. I am still not sure whether the search is worthwhile but I do hope I gain some insights about life after reading this book.

Perseverance and a little help from God do make life more meaningful I think…

End of a legend

HE is one of the greatest tennis players. He is one of the few that managed to capture all four grand slams in the modern era. He is cool, He is bold, He is Andre Agassi.

Tennis is a very time consuming game. For a grand slam event, the men's game can take up more than 5 hours of on court time. To sit on your couch and glue to the TV for that whole entire time is not easy. However, there are a few players that have the ability to do that. For me, Adrea is one of them, along side Federer, Sampras, Becker, Edberf and last but not least my favorite player of all time, Steffi Graf.

Today saw him in action in the US Open. Unfortunately it is also his last time in action. It is really sad that his career does not end in a high note. Being booted out of the tournament like that to a lowly rank player seems unjust.

I believe he deserves better.

The mystery begins

Many ships disappeared mysteriously here. Numerous planes vanished mysteriously here. Countless human lives were loss mysteriously here. Even Christopher Columbus experienced strange occurrence when he sailed through "Here". "Here" covers approximately 500,000 square miles of the Atlantic Ocean. "Here" forms a triangle which covers Bermuda, San Juan Puerto Rico, and Miami Florida. "Here" is Bermuda Triangle.

Bermuda Triangle is mysterious. I have always intrigued by the mysteries, the stories surrounding this triangle. I am real excited when this mysterious anomaly will be the main plot in the new series "The Triangle".

The series has some pretty strong casting, which include Sam Neil, Eric Stoltz and the beautiful Catherine Bell. I watched the first of the three series tonight and was glued to the TV for the entire time. It is really good. I hope the show will not disappoint me and that it will provide an unexpected and surprising twist at the end.

Lets the mystery begins...

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday... Today is the day. I am officially 31. Older but wiser. Had a crazy night at the K-session. I got to sing many of May Day's songs which make me happy. hehehe...

I wish for good health, a love life and smooth sailing in the work place.

One year anniversary

It is amazing... I have been updating my blog for exactly 1 year today.

I can't remember how I started writing blog, but I have been enjoying writing it.

In some way, blogging is addictive. It started of as a mean to improve my English but it gradually becomes more personal.

I think writing blog is a way for me to capture my emotions. It captures the moment. You might feel strongly about a person at that particular time but the feeling may change in a matter of days. Well, that shows you how human’s emotions fluctuated.
It also allows me to think about my past. I have been having some hard time to think of the stuff I have done... imagine if I decided to write a memoir in my sixties... I would probably end up with a piece of white sheet.

Writing blog forces me to think hard, to think what I had achieved and to think what I had missed out. I believe the more I write the more I can find myself. Sometimes when we are too engrossed with our daily pursue of materialism, we forget. We forget to stop. We forget to smile. We forget to live the moment.

I hope to continue writing blog. I hope to be able to write down my thought and my emotion more.

Happy Anniversary to Me!!!

5 more days to my brithday

Is the weekend. It is not any normal weekend as me and a few colleagues had planned a getaway. Get away from the hustle and bustle of the city life to a more tranquil and serene rural paradise.

However, we started off with the wrong foot when we all played until wee hours the day before the journey. With less than 3 hours of sleep, it was pretty difficult to keep yourself focus on the journey. After 3 hours of driving, we finally reached our paradise.

The weekend escapade started with caving and flying fox. The caving was ok. As usual, you can't enjoy much due to the darkness but the going high and going low made it fun. The highlight of the caving trip was the flying fox. Although it was not too challenging, I had a good time sliding down the rope. Maybe I am ready for the bungee jump?

Right after the caving, we went straight to nature spa. Well, that’s a nice name for a broken pipe. It felt really good after the "spa". Later in the afternoon, we went to the waterfalls. I managed to shoot some photos and being shot too.

At night, after heavy bbq and durian, we all proceed with the drinking session. I must say my five-ten skill is pretty bad. I kept pouring down the beer into my tummy. I seriously need to improve my five-ten skill if I were to keep myself sober every drinking session.

The next day, we went jungle trekking and then back to the waterfalls again. It was not long before we have to pack our stuff and headed home. I must say I like the outdoor very much. The two days getaway made wonders to me. I felt fresh and stress free.

I should plan for outdoor activities more often.

9 days to my birthday

Another has passed and I am one day closer to my big 31. Below is the list of the top 9 English songs of my all time list.
Number 9 - Mariah Carey: Love takes time
Number 8 - Bee Gees: You win again
Number 7 - Daniel Powter: Bad day
Number 6 - Oasis: Stand by me
Number 5 - Aerosmith: Angel
Number 4 - Richie Sambora: The answer
Number 3 - Deep Blue Something: Brerakfast at Tiffany's
Number 2 - The Wallflowers: One headlight
Number 1 - Firehouse: Love of a lifetime

To come up with the above list is tougher than I expected. I started listening to English songs when I was in form 1, following my brother's foot step then. The first song that I learned to sing (by listening like at least 100 times) was A Groovy Kind Of Love, by Phil Collins. The first album that I bought (original ok) was Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth.

After years of listening to these songs, I realized I like slow rock songs more than the others. After putting the top nine list, it comes to no surprise that about 7 songs are in the category of rock or soft rock.

My favorite song of all time is Love Of A Lifetime. I can't remember how I came about hearing this song but I have decided long time ago that it will be my wedding's theme song. This song is perfect can!

10 days to my birthday

Ten days to my birthday. Yeap, another year has gone by. This year would be my 31st birthday. That's quite a lot of birthdays I have had since my existence, if you ask me...

Time like this make you wanna reflect yourself. Below are the three events that I would probably think twice before making the same decision again:
1. Leaving my job in Penang to continue my master studies in KL. If given the chance I would probably get a job first and do my master part time. In the same time, I would change my attitude then about working and settling down in Penang. The "this is not my place" attitude will not get you very far, career wise.

2. I didn't study hard enough for my form 5 examination. I must admit I wasted too much time on TV during that time. If given a chance, I would do anything and everything to ensure I nail the examination. I shouldn't start studying 2 weeks before the exams. That's suicidal.

3. Leave the one I love in Penang. I still miss her after 5 years making the stupidest decision.

Some bad decisions lead to good things... eventually. I think I have my fair share of making mistakes in life. The three incidents above are just few of the many many bad decisions I had made. However, I think I did what I did base on the situation I was in. I shouldn't have regrets. I might be paying the consequences now but I believe God has the final say in all these. He shall lead the way for me. He would understand me and He knows my life path, my destiny.

Life goes on ok...

Star Trek Anniversary

Wow... Star Trek will be 40 years old on the 8th of September. Imagine that, 40 years of journey, exploration to places where no man has gone before.

I am a Star Trek fan. I started watching Star Trek when I was in secondary school and it was known as Star Trek, the Next Generation. The main reason why I love the series was that it is thought provoking. Most of the series left me wonder. I wonder about meeting the new alien species and understanding their culture. I wonder how I could be "energized" from one location to another. I wonder about the high-tech machines and technology. But above all, I wonder about time travel. I think the "time" factor always keeps me intrigue with the show. The time paradox is something I really wish I could comprehend some day.

But one thing is strange. None of my friends are star trek fans. I have not been able to discuss any of the episodes with my friends. It is rather strange for me and rather sad as well.

Surprise can...

I have dinner appointment with my APIIT frens this evening. I met them when I was pursuing my master. I don't know how, but none of them was from my batch. I got to know them through pure fate. For example, I got to know my photography guru cum APIIT fren after I joined his class (I delay that class due to unforeseen circumstances at that time) for one semester.

But they are really a bunch of good people. The six of us can click quite well. We share knowledge. We help each other through the toughest time. I must say, without their supports and constant encouragement, I might not be able to complete my dissertation so smoothly. Without their help in providing me the notes and exam tips, I might not be able to pass my exam with flying colors.

After our graduation, we still make the effort to meet up, maybe like once every 3 months. We all almost never talk to each other during this period. It is fortunate that we have the Raleigh cum photographer cum researcher lady who is very very good in arranging get together dinner. Without her I doubt the group can sustain.

So today, we have our usual meet up. We have not seen each other... well I am not sure, but at least for 6 months already I reckon. Frankly, I was a little reluctant to go at first. Maybe is the headache (I have difficulty sleeping again the night before). But I know I should go, for good old APIIT time sake.

As usual, I was late. I got the time wrong. Everyone was there. We started to chat. Since there are 4 photographers (including me.. ehm!!!), the photography topic will be the main course. Then we chatted about what's everyone is doing. I was rather shocked to hear that the Raleigh cum photographer cum researcher lady is applying for phD. Is she crazy or what? Well, I deeply respect and admire her determination. But no way I am going to endure another madness like I did while doing my master.

After about one and a half hours, I can sense that the topics are getting dry. I think it is time to go home. I can sense everyone's body language that it is time to leave. Some looking at phone’s watch. Some making stretching (me me me). Some giving plain look (I think me too).

So finally someone signaled the waitress to bring the bill. Then, out of the blue... a cake was brought to our table, and my APIIT frens started singing happy birthday song... to ME!!

What a pleasant surprised! I didn't even know they knew my birthday is coming! We all never celebrate birthday together before neither. Although they’ve kindly forgotten my age, I was happy. Although I was embarrassed that they sang birthday song in front of so many people, I was happy.

And you know what, I don't even know any of their birth dates. I feel guilty and I feel ashamed. I have to improve my skill in maintaining friendship. No choice can, must learn ok.

I think I am always lucky to have good friends around. Although I do not have many friends, but my friends are good friends!!

Science is like a thin sheet of ice

The debate has been going on for some times now, at least for a few years now. The news appeared in the headline again today. Is it a planet or is it not? Yeap, the ninth planet in our solar system seems to be in shaky position after a new icy rock was discovered. What so intrigue about this icy rock, known as "2003 UB313" or "Xena" is that it is actually bigger than Pluto. In fact it is 70 miles longer in diameter than Pluto.

The big question now... to demote Pluto or welcome Xena as the tenth planet?

Come to think of it... science is rather vulnerable... a principle or a theory is true until it is proven otherwise.

This is scary... yet this is exciting. Imagine, someone might discover some new evident that may just refute the Einstein theory of E=mc^2. What about if someone was able to create negative mass, travel faster than the speed of light and thus allowing human to travel back in time?

No doubt, we are in an age where science is at its most exciting stage. I believe we are no way near the end of Science. The reason is simple, we still can't find a unified theory or the fundamental law that governs our world and universe. But yet, we always seem to discover new things everyday and more experiments are carried out in labs around the world to strengthen Science and to bring Science to the next level.

dream will be dream...

I got my hair cut short... I got my hair cut bloody short. My hair stylist (ehm!!!) keep asking me "Are you sure you wanna do this?" throughout the session. But I was determined. I was determined to change my hairstyle after having it for more than 10 years.

Why do I decide to change it after all these years? Maybe is the feeling of reborn. Maybe is the feeling of change. Maybe is the feeling of don't bother. Well, I don't think that I am not bothered with the way I look. I am no metrosexual man... but I do like to look my best... yea I guess that's how we human survive evolution... We always try to look our best to attract the opposite sex... damn, how do I come to this statement...

Anyway, I really feel that I need some changes in my life. My life is not pathetic. Not yet at least... but it is getting no where either. I really need to go backpack and trek the mountains soon. I seriously feel that I need to get that part of my dreams fulfilled before I can move on to other things...

Now I wonder, is that an excuse? Is that stopping me from moving forward? I am not sure... I am good at contradicting myself. I guess too much thinking will do that to you. Arghhh... I think I should think less, exercise more, and work towards my goal... I'll do "almost" anything to step my footprint on the basecamp of the Mount Everest and take photos so nice that even National Geographic also can't resist.

Pina Colada

I have not drunk a sip of liquor since my last oversea trip. It was not intentional. But during the dinner with my dog fren pig fren, the topic of chill Carlsberg was brought up. Somehow or rather, another 30 minutes later, I found myself sitting at a bar drinking beer with my dog fren pig fren.

It was pretty early when we reached there. So, not "much" is happening. After a class of chilled Carlsberg, I continue with Pina Colada (For some weird reason, I just love this drink). It was getting no where by this time, I think all of us were sort of getting bored and so we started to play five-ten. That was painful for me. After a beer and Pina Colada, it is not easy for me to think, to strategize or to act wisely. Although I didn't lose every time, I did manage to get myself in the state of intoxication.

So today, I woke up with a little hang over. My head felt heavy. My eye lid felt heavy and my legs felt heavy. Astro was on the entire time. I remember I was watching tennis when I must have dozed off. I switch to CNN. Hm... news on terrorism. For the past few days, the world was shocked again after the UK authorities have managed to halt a suspected "terror in the sky" plot by the Islamic extremist. 24 people were arrested for investigation and most flights were cancelled. I think as 9-11 date approaching, the western world leaders are getting panic. Well, who wouldn't be? If the plot for "terror in the sky" does happen, I am sure more wars will be waged.

People people, grow up can...

Eureka!Eureka

He jumped out from his bathtub, run naked in the street of Syracuse and shouted”Eureka! Eureka!” He is one of the great Greek mathematician, physicist and inventor. He is Archimedes (287-212 B.C.)

His principles on buoyancy make him famous. But I must tell the truth. I always get mixed up this person and the foremost Greek hero of the Trojan War, Achilles, the son of Peleus and Thetis.

Huh? You might think that you do not know who Achilles was but you must surely hear of the Achilles' paradox. The paradox stated that the "faster runner can never catch a slower runner because he is forever arriving at a point the slower runner has just vacated". Very interesting paradox… simple but it does make you stop and think for that few minutes.

Anyway, I was thrilled to learn from the news that the researches at Stanford University's Linear Accelerator Center have successfully using the X-rays to decipher a fragile 10th century manuscript that contains the copies of some of Archimedes' most important works.

This is very exciting. With the modern technology we are able to rediscover some of the greatest works that defined science and humanity. The discovery might not change the way we talk or how we live our life, but it is the discovery of human history and how we evolve. Without people like Archimedes, our human history will be less colorful... sounds a bit dramatic, but I firmly believe so lor...

She grew up...

Last Saturday I got a surprised call from my old old classmate. It was a surprised as I have not heard anything about this dark skin, thick hair, pretty but very “garang” look person. To tell you the least, she did make my life in those primary school days interesting. I can't recall much but I think we never see eye to eye much. Maybe she had a crush on me or maybe she really loathed me, she always asked the girls not to talk to me. Yeap, that’s how much I can remember…

Anyway, the reason she called was to ask me to go back for our school's gathering or the so call alumni.

Apparently she has been doing very well to her life. She is driving a BMW now. Oh wait, let me rephrase, she goes around places in her BMW... yeap she doesn't drive because she has a driver okie... She has a condo in Mount Kiara, and is one of those people that buy a house and decided the house looks so not to her taste that she would tear it down and rebuild again from ground up. This is not all, she knows all the top people in this country. She has private numbers of top executives of many big corporations which include those in the dragon marked bank. She would tell you all the inside stories nobody knew.

HM... I am rather shocked to hear that at first. Deep inside, I do admire her capability. From what I heard, she no longer the person I remembered. She was no longer the girl with dark skin, thick hair, pretty and a “garang” look. Maybe she is still pretty. But she is very fair nowadays and you will not find any coarse hair in her hand, face or legs (I am not sure of any other places okie...). Hm... life sure has changed.

I am. I am really happy for her. She just ditched her boy friend and is single... and she kept asking me to find her for hi-tea at her place. Hm... Well, I know what you guys are thinking. But I am not sure... I think she is not that simple. How can a single lady able to be so "powderful" by just selling dresses... if you know what I mean...

I think sometimes when we are too focused and eager in achieving our goal, we lose our own identity along the way... I do hope to see her again... as an old friend. I would love to hear her stories about all the places that she has been too and how she has transformed herself. But I sincerely hope that she is truly happy.

Alfie

Despite the medication and whole day of working, I found myself not able to sleep yesterday night. This is a bit odd. Yes, I was thinking about work and my future but it was not very intense.

Anyway, after 1.5 hour of trying to sleep, I finally gave in and turned on my Astro to watch whatever program showing. As I was surfing the channels, for some unknown reason I ended up at HBO and started to follow the movie. The movie was entitled Alfie, starring Jude Law.

Jude Law plays a womanizer who was forced to question what he really wanted in life after a series of fail relationships. After finished watching the movie, especially at the end of the movie, it started to make me question about myself too. Maybe not about relationship, but life in general.

"What have I got? Really? Some money in my pocket, some nice threads, fancy car at my disposal, and I'm single. Yeah... unattached, free as a bird... I don't depend on nobody and nobody depends on me... My life's my own. But I don't have peace of mind. And if you don't have that, you've got nothing. So... what's the answer? That's what I keep asking myself. What's it all about? You know what I mean?"

So, do I have peace of mind?

I think God purposely not letting me to sleep so that I could watch that movie... how cruel okie, now I have to use my brain to think even more...

Me and my contradiction

I am feeling a lot of negative energy coming my way. This is bad. The vibe is just plain weird.

I am assigned to a new project. And on top of that, I will have to support my current project. This can't be good. This can't be true. This can't be happening.

Getting calls at night from your colleagues oversea is very stressful. Getting popup instance messengers from your colleagues oversea is very stressful. Getting emails from your colleagues oversea is very stressful.

My dog fren pig fren kept telling me to relax and don't too stress out. Don't run in a circle one would always said. But what can I say, I am just a damn easily stress out rabbit.

Although I am worried about the coming weeks and months, deep down inside I am still excited of the new project. Excited about the opportunity that was given to me. Sigh, talking about contradiction. Sometimes I don't even know what I want.

This is sad. This is pathetic. This is pitiful. Somehow I feel like I am not the captain of my own life voyage. I need to be the captain that has purpose. I need to be the captain that knows what he wants. I need to be the captain that able to explore the world with vision and determination.

My photographer guru has started his own company. My x-colleague who is not very pure Chinese has came back from UK and work in the environmental companies researching on worms. I think they are following their dream.

To say that I am not living my dream is a bit unfair. I have worked hard to be where I wanted me to be today. I was in manufacturing industry be fore I decided to switch to IT. I should be proud I think that I am able to do what I had planned 4 years ago. In a way, I am able to make thing happen too. I might not be the best captain but I am not too bad either. I think at this moment, this captain just need a little more patient. The voyage is only a damn good one if it sails through the thick and thin, the high and the low, the stress and the excitement, the frustration and the happiness.

Maybe a little patient and a lot of determinations can bring me to a voyage where no man has gone before...

Mclaren... Slowly but surely...

After 5 months of racing, my favorite team and driver Kimi finally gets his first ever pole position in F1 qualifying.

Although sensing that it was too good to be true... I was still happy. I was still thrill. I was still excited.

Well, true enough, due to low fuel, Kimi was able to run a very good lap during the qualifying. During the race day,however, the strategy proved to be not very wise as he was dropped to third placing after the two red scarlet.

Nonetheless, It was a good showing overall. Kimi is back on the podium and Mclaren gets valuable points for the championship.

Go Kimi! Go Mclaren!!

Flu flu go away can...

I sick again. Yes I am. Somehow it seems like I am always sick.

But after looking through my blog, I am quite amazed. Guess what? I last MC due to flu or fever was way back in early March. That's 5 months worth of healthy living. I must not complaint.

I used to sick like at least every 3 months. 5-month is a rather good number for me. I used to get sick when friends around me got sick. Yea it was (hm... maybe still is) that bad. I wonder why. Maybe is the work stress. Maybe is the irregular meal intake. Maybe is the lack of exercise. Maybe is the filter apartment.

It is always time like this make me feel like I need to change my style living. Exercise 30 minutes daily. Eat healthy food. Sleep early. Learn to de-stress. And clean my apartment everyday.

Somehow I believe these thoughts will vanish once I get back to my own feet again. How I wish I could really have a healthy life style...

Life without Astro

I woke up considerably early (09:30) today after working until the wee hours the day before (technically is this morning la). I knew I have about two and a half hours to kill before I heading to the office again. I was happy. I can unwind a little I told myself.

The first thing I did was to switch on my small small old old cheap cheap but square sqaure silver box to watch Astro. Sunday morning means more cartoons for me. To my shock, there was nothing on in my small small old old cheap cheap but square square silver box! I was panic. Then I tried to check the configuration and found out that there's no signal coming in! This was like Paris Hilton having a bad hair day. Life without Astro is unthinkable to me. I am doomed.

After being stoned and stunned for about 15 minutes I gave up and started to read the newspaper. Although feeling empty, I read the newspaper as slowly as I could. After another 45 minutes though, I felt lost again. So I decided to go and take a dip in the swimming pool. After that, I found myself starring in front of my small small old old cheap cheap but square square silver box which read "Services Currently No Available".

I miss my Astro can...

The service industry...

It started well. I woke up fresh after hectic work in the office the day before. I went on the pick up the Java Guru to play Malaysia most popular sport and in the same time send my small small old old cheap cheap but tough tough vehicle for servicing. I have not sent her for servicing for a long long time... way over due if you ask me.

I had some good games today. I don't play pretty well this so call Malaysia most popular sport. Maybe is my height. Maybe is the old racket. Maybe is just not in my blood. I don't know. But I do enjoy playing this so call Malaysia most popular sport. After two hours of running, hitting and jumping, I was very very tired. My shirt was soaked with my sweat. But it does feel good. At least I felt I have done something healthy.

Then I went on to have sumptuous lunch - porridge fire wok with my Malaysia most popular sport kaki. Yeap, nothing beat a good meal after exercising I tell you. I ate and I ate. All of us are so full that we felt guilty right after that. It seems like the hard work of running, hitting and jumping has gone down the drain.

After the sumptuous lunch, I went to pick up my small small old old cheap cheap but tough tough vehicle. To my shock, the mechanics still have not serviced my small small old old cheap cheap but tough tough vehicle. This is like after 5 hours can. This is so unacceptable. I have to cancel the service as I need to go back to the office. This really spoiled everything and I have to make another appointment. I am not happy. My small small old old cheap cheap but tough tough vehicle is not happy either.

relax? ticklish

After we have completed our assignment on our oversea trip, few of us decided to relax and unwind at this looks 5 star spa hotel.

After negotiating for time and package, we all went our separate room for the massage service. This is my second massage. I did once like 5 years ago when I went to our neighbor country up north for a short holiday.

Compare this time and the last time I went for massage, I was definitely more prepared this time. I was determined not to get embarrassed again this time because of the ticklish sensation. I couldn't help but giggling every time I was being "touch", the tights, the stomach, the neck, well it was really embarrassing. It was more embarrassing when I was called "baby" and the masseur kept saying "Baby don't laugh, baby don't laugh"

Having that experience in mind, I went in the small chamber with a. The masseur was a sweet girl... I was happy. After I changed to this disposable undy, and pretty much see through, I let the masseur does her thing. She started with the right leg. She started with the toes and started to move upward. I was lucky I think. Oi... not that kind of lucky can. I was lucky because my face was facing downward. When she massaged my right tight, I started to chuckle laaaa. Luckily I was able to control it and I am sure she didn't notice that I was giggling. Steady I must say!

After she has done with my back, she started to massage the front. Oh no... There's nothing to cover my face already. Everything seemed fine up until my upper body. Aiyooo I tell you... very very ticklish can!!!!! I was no choice but bust out a laugh. Seeing me giggle, she smiled back. So embarrassing I tell you.

The whole session lasted about 1.5 hours. It was really relaxing. Although kind of embarrassing on my part, but I felt rejuvenate after that. Will I be going back there? Well you bet I will. And I am really determined not to embarrass myself!! And who knows, maybe I'll be ready for the Turkish bath one day...

The girls are back

To my surprise, the reality show hosted by Tyra Banks was back on Astro. After season finale of Ghost whisperer, I am glad that my Monday night is back to action. Well, not really action’s action, but I am happy that I will be looking forward to Monday night again.

The great dutch painter

Yesterday marked the 400th birthday of one of the greatest painters of all time, Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn (July 15, 1606 – October 4, 1669).

You must be wondering how come I know this painter. I took the Introduction to Art class in fall 1996. It was one of those classes that you choose to take because you heard from your seniors that you can pass easily.

It turned out to be quite and enlightening class for me. Although I cannot remember much from that class, there are a few names that I am able to remember even now: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Rafael and Rembrandt.

I believed the fact that the Rembrandts, the band who sang the Friends' theme song chooses the same name as Rembrandt made me paid extra attention in class.

Queueing

While onboard a plane for my oversea business trip, I came across an interesting article. This article talks about how bad luck keeps falling into you. Particularly the most interesting staff was how he was always queue at the wrong line.

While I was reading it, I keep nodding my head. I can't agree more. In fact I just experienced it again this morning while waiting in line to get my movie ticket. There I was waiting at the cinema ticketing area. I tried to observe a little while before deciding on the line I should join in. After few minutes of scrutinizing the lines, I decided to join this particular line as it seemed to be moving quite reasonably and that the queue seemed to be the shortest. Happy with my decision I waited patiently in line. Just as I joined the queue, the unthinkable thing happened. The line stopped moving!!!! It stopped for at least 10 minutes (seemed eternity). Nothing was moving but the other two lines.

I was getting desperate inside. I was struggling whether I should jump to the other moving lines. As I was thinking, more and more people joined the other lines. Seeing no choice, I stayed put on my line, waited patiently. The decision seemed fatal when I saw people came and went off in front of my eyes.

This really sux can...

Getting bored...

I am always willing to give my all to the work I am doing. Although I might not be the best person for the job, you can be rest assured that I will give my all. A wise bold man once told me, don't just think that you are working for the company, but rather to think that you are working for yourself. That's how you learn and how you grow as an individual.

Well, it make perfection sense. Most of the time. If the situation is not complex and there are no other variables affecting the contents, then everything will be fine. When the money you earned is not enough, the situation gets a bit more complicated. When you do not get along with you colleages, the situation gets more complicated. When your hard work does not follow with appreciation, the situation gets very very complicated.

Sometimes I am wondering whether I have worked too hard? and my best is just not good enough... this is definitely not very motivating.

Rushing...

After returning from my very first business trip, I was flying off again to the same place in a span of less than two weeks.

Before this, I always wonder how it feels like to be able to attend oversea business trip regularly... Now that I am in such situation, I can seriously tell you that it is not as glamorous as I thought.

Everything is in such a rush. I was told about the trip after lunch. Then immediately I have to fix and test a bug. After the bug was fixed and tested successfully, I have to rush out to get a Malaysian copy CD to be brought over to the client site. Then I was expected to go back to the office and test the new deployment. Finally I have to burn CDs with all the necessary information for me to bring over to do my work.

After rushing this and that in the office, I still find myself rushing things at home. I was trying to pay online bills and credit cards debts in order to keep myself away from embarrassment if I need to use my credit cards during the trip. After that I have to do my packing. Now, how do you pack your bag if you do not know how many days you will be away? It was a bit tricky for me. If I packed too few I might find myself wearing the same clothes over and over again. If I packed too many clothing then I might face teasing from my colleague for taking too much. You know, colleagues can be very cruel sometimes ok!!!!

After everything is in placed, I only got about 5 hours of sleep before rushing to the airport to catch the early flight.

Life is strange

Life is strange. Life is unpredictable. Life is perplexing.

Could it be the aura surrounding people that making thing so complicated? Is it due to the birthday date or the position of the planet surrounding your birth that is making life so complicated?

Although we are in the same project team, I do not have much contact with this person. I believe I have never spoken much about this person to any other person I know. In other words, this person is just a colleague and nothing more.

Yet, time after time, I find this person just being plain nasty. I tried to be nice, and this person will give harsh comments. I tried to reason with this person and this person will get frustrated and refused to at least digest what I have to say. I try to start small talk with this person and this person would just give me the "couldn't be bother" attitude.

It is getting more and more frustrated and difficult to work along with this person. I am blaming the star sign, the birth planet and the human aura for this condition I am in... as I can't figure out a single clue of what's going on here...

my first business trip

After working for about a decade, I finally got my first oversea assignment. Although this is not my first business engagement oversea, this time is really about work. It used to be just attending training before this.

Am I excited? Well, to be frank, I wasn't. I was there to interview potential candidate to work in our country and to solve some technical issues on the system I was building. As you can imagine, there are a few things at stake here. One thing for sure I won't have the time to snap around the city.

Fortunately all the anxiety diminishes when my colleague who is one crazy and self-proclaim the world most unpredictable person keep sms me asking me to bring my camera and swimming trunk. I guess sometimes it is good to be less uptight and be more relax. And towards the end, I found myself getting more excited as I was doing my packing.

The trip lasted for 4 days. I am happy that I survived the trip. Another Triumph!!! Thanks to the great accommodation and "nice" colleagues, I must say my first oversea business trip was pretty interesting.

end of a milestone

I have not been updating this blog for about 2 months now. For the past 2 months I have done nothing much but work. I am happy to say that the LAT testing is finally over. Although the project is not yet over, but I am really happy that a milestone has been achieved. As much as I am glad that the systems my team developed is accepted by the client at this point of time, I am even thrilled that I am able to endure the constant critics and harsh comments that I received for the past 4 months.