The zombie in me

"I wanted to see the starvation. I needed to remind myself of its reality. I worry that if I get too comfortable, too complacent, I'll lose all feeling, all sensation." ~ Cooper.

Human is a funny being, when we are too comfortable with the moment, we tend to forget a lot of things. We are self-engrossed. As long as I am ok, my family is ok, my friends are ok, then my life is a-o-k.

Maybe that's not the way it supposed to be. When we are comfortable with our way of life, I do feel bore with the life. Everything is just so normal, so predictable, so dry. Maybe that's when you start losing all the feels and all the sensations.

Losing all sensation will be like a living zombie. Lately I am feeling like a zombie myself. Well, not entirely true. I think I am suppressing my emotions more than usual lately. Many people have left or are leaving the company and many more have gone for interviews (gossip gossip) do not particularly make you feel good about the place you are working... yet I find myself able to carry out my work as usual... maybe that's not true also... unusual, definitely unusual... yet I find myself able to carry out my work in an unusual way. Besides that dealing with unusual events cum people also can take a lot out of you. But again I am able to ignore all these people in an unusual way. Is this the new me? I am not sure...

Is this the calmness you experience before the big wave? Is this the clear sky you get before the hurricane? I don't know. I hope not. I want to be able to feel the sensations again like a 5 years old boy who can't sleep at night, too excited, knowing that his parents are bringing him to the park the very next day...