Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday... Today is the day. I am officially 31. Older but wiser. Had a crazy night at the K-session. I got to sing many of May Day's songs which make me happy. hehehe...

I wish for good health, a love life and smooth sailing in the work place.

One year anniversary

It is amazing... I have been updating my blog for exactly 1 year today.

I can't remember how I started writing blog, but I have been enjoying writing it.

In some way, blogging is addictive. It started of as a mean to improve my English but it gradually becomes more personal.

I think writing blog is a way for me to capture my emotions. It captures the moment. You might feel strongly about a person at that particular time but the feeling may change in a matter of days. Well, that shows you how human’s emotions fluctuated.
It also allows me to think about my past. I have been having some hard time to think of the stuff I have done... imagine if I decided to write a memoir in my sixties... I would probably end up with a piece of white sheet.

Writing blog forces me to think hard, to think what I had achieved and to think what I had missed out. I believe the more I write the more I can find myself. Sometimes when we are too engrossed with our daily pursue of materialism, we forget. We forget to stop. We forget to smile. We forget to live the moment.

I hope to continue writing blog. I hope to be able to write down my thought and my emotion more.

Happy Anniversary to Me!!!

5 more days to my brithday

Is the weekend. It is not any normal weekend as me and a few colleagues had planned a getaway. Get away from the hustle and bustle of the city life to a more tranquil and serene rural paradise.

However, we started off with the wrong foot when we all played until wee hours the day before the journey. With less than 3 hours of sleep, it was pretty difficult to keep yourself focus on the journey. After 3 hours of driving, we finally reached our paradise.

The weekend escapade started with caving and flying fox. The caving was ok. As usual, you can't enjoy much due to the darkness but the going high and going low made it fun. The highlight of the caving trip was the flying fox. Although it was not too challenging, I had a good time sliding down the rope. Maybe I am ready for the bungee jump?

Right after the caving, we went straight to nature spa. Well, that’s a nice name for a broken pipe. It felt really good after the "spa". Later in the afternoon, we went to the waterfalls. I managed to shoot some photos and being shot too.

At night, after heavy bbq and durian, we all proceed with the drinking session. I must say my five-ten skill is pretty bad. I kept pouring down the beer into my tummy. I seriously need to improve my five-ten skill if I were to keep myself sober every drinking session.

The next day, we went jungle trekking and then back to the waterfalls again. It was not long before we have to pack our stuff and headed home. I must say I like the outdoor very much. The two days getaway made wonders to me. I felt fresh and stress free.

I should plan for outdoor activities more often.

9 days to my birthday

Another has passed and I am one day closer to my big 31. Below is the list of the top 9 English songs of my all time list.
Number 9 - Mariah Carey: Love takes time
Number 8 - Bee Gees: You win again
Number 7 - Daniel Powter: Bad day
Number 6 - Oasis: Stand by me
Number 5 - Aerosmith: Angel
Number 4 - Richie Sambora: The answer
Number 3 - Deep Blue Something: Brerakfast at Tiffany's
Number 2 - The Wallflowers: One headlight
Number 1 - Firehouse: Love of a lifetime

To come up with the above list is tougher than I expected. I started listening to English songs when I was in form 1, following my brother's foot step then. The first song that I learned to sing (by listening like at least 100 times) was A Groovy Kind Of Love, by Phil Collins. The first album that I bought (original ok) was Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth.

After years of listening to these songs, I realized I like slow rock songs more than the others. After putting the top nine list, it comes to no surprise that about 7 songs are in the category of rock or soft rock.

My favorite song of all time is Love Of A Lifetime. I can't remember how I came about hearing this song but I have decided long time ago that it will be my wedding's theme song. This song is perfect can!

10 days to my birthday

Ten days to my birthday. Yeap, another year has gone by. This year would be my 31st birthday. That's quite a lot of birthdays I have had since my existence, if you ask me...

Time like this make you wanna reflect yourself. Below are the three events that I would probably think twice before making the same decision again:
1. Leaving my job in Penang to continue my master studies in KL. If given the chance I would probably get a job first and do my master part time. In the same time, I would change my attitude then about working and settling down in Penang. The "this is not my place" attitude will not get you very far, career wise.

2. I didn't study hard enough for my form 5 examination. I must admit I wasted too much time on TV during that time. If given a chance, I would do anything and everything to ensure I nail the examination. I shouldn't start studying 2 weeks before the exams. That's suicidal.

3. Leave the one I love in Penang. I still miss her after 5 years making the stupidest decision.

Some bad decisions lead to good things... eventually. I think I have my fair share of making mistakes in life. The three incidents above are just few of the many many bad decisions I had made. However, I think I did what I did base on the situation I was in. I shouldn't have regrets. I might be paying the consequences now but I believe God has the final say in all these. He shall lead the way for me. He would understand me and He knows my life path, my destiny.

Life goes on ok...

Star Trek Anniversary

Wow... Star Trek will be 40 years old on the 8th of September. Imagine that, 40 years of journey, exploration to places where no man has gone before.

I am a Star Trek fan. I started watching Star Trek when I was in secondary school and it was known as Star Trek, the Next Generation. The main reason why I love the series was that it is thought provoking. Most of the series left me wonder. I wonder about meeting the new alien species and understanding their culture. I wonder how I could be "energized" from one location to another. I wonder about the high-tech machines and technology. But above all, I wonder about time travel. I think the "time" factor always keeps me intrigue with the show. The time paradox is something I really wish I could comprehend some day.

But one thing is strange. None of my friends are star trek fans. I have not been able to discuss any of the episodes with my friends. It is rather strange for me and rather sad as well.

Surprise can...

I have dinner appointment with my APIIT frens this evening. I met them when I was pursuing my master. I don't know how, but none of them was from my batch. I got to know them through pure fate. For example, I got to know my photography guru cum APIIT fren after I joined his class (I delay that class due to unforeseen circumstances at that time) for one semester.

But they are really a bunch of good people. The six of us can click quite well. We share knowledge. We help each other through the toughest time. I must say, without their supports and constant encouragement, I might not be able to complete my dissertation so smoothly. Without their help in providing me the notes and exam tips, I might not be able to pass my exam with flying colors.

After our graduation, we still make the effort to meet up, maybe like once every 3 months. We all almost never talk to each other during this period. It is fortunate that we have the Raleigh cum photographer cum researcher lady who is very very good in arranging get together dinner. Without her I doubt the group can sustain.

So today, we have our usual meet up. We have not seen each other... well I am not sure, but at least for 6 months already I reckon. Frankly, I was a little reluctant to go at first. Maybe is the headache (I have difficulty sleeping again the night before). But I know I should go, for good old APIIT time sake.

As usual, I was late. I got the time wrong. Everyone was there. We started to chat. Since there are 4 photographers (including me.. ehm!!!), the photography topic will be the main course. Then we chatted about what's everyone is doing. I was rather shocked to hear that the Raleigh cum photographer cum researcher lady is applying for phD. Is she crazy or what? Well, I deeply respect and admire her determination. But no way I am going to endure another madness like I did while doing my master.

After about one and a half hours, I can sense that the topics are getting dry. I think it is time to go home. I can sense everyone's body language that it is time to leave. Some looking at phone’s watch. Some making stretching (me me me). Some giving plain look (I think me too).

So finally someone signaled the waitress to bring the bill. Then, out of the blue... a cake was brought to our table, and my APIIT frens started singing happy birthday song... to ME!!

What a pleasant surprised! I didn't even know they knew my birthday is coming! We all never celebrate birthday together before neither. Although they’ve kindly forgotten my age, I was happy. Although I was embarrassed that they sang birthday song in front of so many people, I was happy.

And you know what, I don't even know any of their birth dates. I feel guilty and I feel ashamed. I have to improve my skill in maintaining friendship. No choice can, must learn ok.

I think I am always lucky to have good friends around. Although I do not have many friends, but my friends are good friends!!

Science is like a thin sheet of ice

The debate has been going on for some times now, at least for a few years now. The news appeared in the headline again today. Is it a planet or is it not? Yeap, the ninth planet in our solar system seems to be in shaky position after a new icy rock was discovered. What so intrigue about this icy rock, known as "2003 UB313" or "Xena" is that it is actually bigger than Pluto. In fact it is 70 miles longer in diameter than Pluto.

The big question now... to demote Pluto or welcome Xena as the tenth planet?

Come to think of it... science is rather vulnerable... a principle or a theory is true until it is proven otherwise.

This is scary... yet this is exciting. Imagine, someone might discover some new evident that may just refute the Einstein theory of E=mc^2. What about if someone was able to create negative mass, travel faster than the speed of light and thus allowing human to travel back in time?

No doubt, we are in an age where science is at its most exciting stage. I believe we are no way near the end of Science. The reason is simple, we still can't find a unified theory or the fundamental law that governs our world and universe. But yet, we always seem to discover new things everyday and more experiments are carried out in labs around the world to strengthen Science and to bring Science to the next level.

dream will be dream...

I got my hair cut short... I got my hair cut bloody short. My hair stylist (ehm!!!) keep asking me "Are you sure you wanna do this?" throughout the session. But I was determined. I was determined to change my hairstyle after having it for more than 10 years.

Why do I decide to change it after all these years? Maybe is the feeling of reborn. Maybe is the feeling of change. Maybe is the feeling of don't bother. Well, I don't think that I am not bothered with the way I look. I am no metrosexual man... but I do like to look my best... yea I guess that's how we human survive evolution... We always try to look our best to attract the opposite sex... damn, how do I come to this statement...

Anyway, I really feel that I need some changes in my life. My life is not pathetic. Not yet at least... but it is getting no where either. I really need to go backpack and trek the mountains soon. I seriously feel that I need to get that part of my dreams fulfilled before I can move on to other things...

Now I wonder, is that an excuse? Is that stopping me from moving forward? I am not sure... I am good at contradicting myself. I guess too much thinking will do that to you. Arghhh... I think I should think less, exercise more, and work towards my goal... I'll do "almost" anything to step my footprint on the basecamp of the Mount Everest and take photos so nice that even National Geographic also can't resist.

Pina Colada

I have not drunk a sip of liquor since my last oversea trip. It was not intentional. But during the dinner with my dog fren pig fren, the topic of chill Carlsberg was brought up. Somehow or rather, another 30 minutes later, I found myself sitting at a bar drinking beer with my dog fren pig fren.

It was pretty early when we reached there. So, not "much" is happening. After a class of chilled Carlsberg, I continue with Pina Colada (For some weird reason, I just love this drink). It was getting no where by this time, I think all of us were sort of getting bored and so we started to play five-ten. That was painful for me. After a beer and Pina Colada, it is not easy for me to think, to strategize or to act wisely. Although I didn't lose every time, I did manage to get myself in the state of intoxication.

So today, I woke up with a little hang over. My head felt heavy. My eye lid felt heavy and my legs felt heavy. Astro was on the entire time. I remember I was watching tennis when I must have dozed off. I switch to CNN. Hm... news on terrorism. For the past few days, the world was shocked again after the UK authorities have managed to halt a suspected "terror in the sky" plot by the Islamic extremist. 24 people were arrested for investigation and most flights were cancelled. I think as 9-11 date approaching, the western world leaders are getting panic. Well, who wouldn't be? If the plot for "terror in the sky" does happen, I am sure more wars will be waged.

People people, grow up can...

Eureka!Eureka

He jumped out from his bathtub, run naked in the street of Syracuse and shouted”Eureka! Eureka!” He is one of the great Greek mathematician, physicist and inventor. He is Archimedes (287-212 B.C.)

His principles on buoyancy make him famous. But I must tell the truth. I always get mixed up this person and the foremost Greek hero of the Trojan War, Achilles, the son of Peleus and Thetis.

Huh? You might think that you do not know who Achilles was but you must surely hear of the Achilles' paradox. The paradox stated that the "faster runner can never catch a slower runner because he is forever arriving at a point the slower runner has just vacated". Very interesting paradox… simple but it does make you stop and think for that few minutes.

Anyway, I was thrilled to learn from the news that the researches at Stanford University's Linear Accelerator Center have successfully using the X-rays to decipher a fragile 10th century manuscript that contains the copies of some of Archimedes' most important works.

This is very exciting. With the modern technology we are able to rediscover some of the greatest works that defined science and humanity. The discovery might not change the way we talk or how we live our life, but it is the discovery of human history and how we evolve. Without people like Archimedes, our human history will be less colorful... sounds a bit dramatic, but I firmly believe so lor...

She grew up...

Last Saturday I got a surprised call from my old old classmate. It was a surprised as I have not heard anything about this dark skin, thick hair, pretty but very “garang” look person. To tell you the least, she did make my life in those primary school days interesting. I can't recall much but I think we never see eye to eye much. Maybe she had a crush on me or maybe she really loathed me, she always asked the girls not to talk to me. Yeap, that’s how much I can remember…

Anyway, the reason she called was to ask me to go back for our school's gathering or the so call alumni.

Apparently she has been doing very well to her life. She is driving a BMW now. Oh wait, let me rephrase, she goes around places in her BMW... yeap she doesn't drive because she has a driver okie... She has a condo in Mount Kiara, and is one of those people that buy a house and decided the house looks so not to her taste that she would tear it down and rebuild again from ground up. This is not all, she knows all the top people in this country. She has private numbers of top executives of many big corporations which include those in the dragon marked bank. She would tell you all the inside stories nobody knew.

HM... I am rather shocked to hear that at first. Deep inside, I do admire her capability. From what I heard, she no longer the person I remembered. She was no longer the girl with dark skin, thick hair, pretty and a “garang” look. Maybe she is still pretty. But she is very fair nowadays and you will not find any coarse hair in her hand, face or legs (I am not sure of any other places okie...). Hm... life sure has changed.

I am. I am really happy for her. She just ditched her boy friend and is single... and she kept asking me to find her for hi-tea at her place. Hm... Well, I know what you guys are thinking. But I am not sure... I think she is not that simple. How can a single lady able to be so "powderful" by just selling dresses... if you know what I mean...

I think sometimes when we are too focused and eager in achieving our goal, we lose our own identity along the way... I do hope to see her again... as an old friend. I would love to hear her stories about all the places that she has been too and how she has transformed herself. But I sincerely hope that she is truly happy.

Alfie

Despite the medication and whole day of working, I found myself not able to sleep yesterday night. This is a bit odd. Yes, I was thinking about work and my future but it was not very intense.

Anyway, after 1.5 hour of trying to sleep, I finally gave in and turned on my Astro to watch whatever program showing. As I was surfing the channels, for some unknown reason I ended up at HBO and started to follow the movie. The movie was entitled Alfie, starring Jude Law.

Jude Law plays a womanizer who was forced to question what he really wanted in life after a series of fail relationships. After finished watching the movie, especially at the end of the movie, it started to make me question about myself too. Maybe not about relationship, but life in general.

"What have I got? Really? Some money in my pocket, some nice threads, fancy car at my disposal, and I'm single. Yeah... unattached, free as a bird... I don't depend on nobody and nobody depends on me... My life's my own. But I don't have peace of mind. And if you don't have that, you've got nothing. So... what's the answer? That's what I keep asking myself. What's it all about? You know what I mean?"

So, do I have peace of mind?

I think God purposely not letting me to sleep so that I could watch that movie... how cruel okie, now I have to use my brain to think even more...

Me and my contradiction

I am feeling a lot of negative energy coming my way. This is bad. The vibe is just plain weird.

I am assigned to a new project. And on top of that, I will have to support my current project. This can't be good. This can't be true. This can't be happening.

Getting calls at night from your colleagues oversea is very stressful. Getting popup instance messengers from your colleagues oversea is very stressful. Getting emails from your colleagues oversea is very stressful.

My dog fren pig fren kept telling me to relax and don't too stress out. Don't run in a circle one would always said. But what can I say, I am just a damn easily stress out rabbit.

Although I am worried about the coming weeks and months, deep down inside I am still excited of the new project. Excited about the opportunity that was given to me. Sigh, talking about contradiction. Sometimes I don't even know what I want.

This is sad. This is pathetic. This is pitiful. Somehow I feel like I am not the captain of my own life voyage. I need to be the captain that has purpose. I need to be the captain that knows what he wants. I need to be the captain that able to explore the world with vision and determination.

My photographer guru has started his own company. My x-colleague who is not very pure Chinese has came back from UK and work in the environmental companies researching on worms. I think they are following their dream.

To say that I am not living my dream is a bit unfair. I have worked hard to be where I wanted me to be today. I was in manufacturing industry be fore I decided to switch to IT. I should be proud I think that I am able to do what I had planned 4 years ago. In a way, I am able to make thing happen too. I might not be the best captain but I am not too bad either. I think at this moment, this captain just need a little more patient. The voyage is only a damn good one if it sails through the thick and thin, the high and the low, the stress and the excitement, the frustration and the happiness.

Maybe a little patient and a lot of determinations can bring me to a voyage where no man has gone before...